My poor grandpa, he thought he was here to see me give my farewell talk and we roped him into singing! We’ve had a lot of families move into the ward so I’m going to take a second to introduce myself. I’ve been in this ward for three years; I just finished my freshman year at BYU where I play clarinet in the marching band and study nursing. In case some of you are panicking because you thought I was leaving in October, I am, I’m just giving a ridiculously early farewell talk. For those of you who don’t know, I have been called to serve in the California San Bernadino mission speaking Spanish and I leave on October 7th. I was really torn about serving a mission. Before going to college, it was something I thought I would definitely do. But during my freshman year my perspective shifted, and I no longer knew if I should. In fact, I started planning to return to school in the fall; I even found housing. But one day, I was calling my grandma as I walked home from class, we started talking about my future plans. I told her I probably wasn’t going to serve a mission anytime soon, and as I said this, I started thinking about the song Called to Serve. A couple seconds later the thought came to my mind so powerfully that I am called to serve too. And that is when I decided to start putting my papers together.
Ephesians 2:19 says “ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and of the household of God”. So, how do we create a spirit of belonging and togetherness? This is something that I feel like my family does really well. For example, today have I countless people supporting me, either in person or through zoom, even though it is probably inconvenient for them. My family loves traditions. For Christmas we have matching family pjs, we try to get to together every Thanksgiving, Christmas, summer, and any other time we can manage it. It seems like for every occasion, big or small, they have found a way to celebrate it with everyone. It is because of these traditions that I have been able to create strong relationships with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and my close family. But it is not always easy to maintain these traditions, we each have different interests, hobbies, beliefs, situations in life, and at times we have been spread across various continents. So, what has kept all of us participating in these traditions and in each other’s lives? My mom likes to say, “love people how they are and where they are”. Having love for one another is a key part of the gospel and of life. It’s not always easy, but it is always worth it to try.
In the church, we place a great emphasis on service. Mosiah 2:17 says; “when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God” and is often quoted. This verse is used time and time again to turn people towards service, and while serving others is a fantastic way to make them feel like they belong I would like to offer another suggestion. When I was growing up, my family moved around a lot. For the most part, I loved it. But I always struggled socially. Leaning more towards introversion, it can take a lot of energy for me to form new relationships. One of the hardest places I had to adjust to was England. It was a completely different culture that I didn’t really understand. And, on top of that, I didn’t really know how to form strong relationships in the first place. One piece of advice that my dad gave me was to ask people to do me small favors. At first, I was skeptical. I already didn’t know these people that well, and he was telling me to inconvenience them?? How would that help me? My dad, sensing I was doubtful, said “no really, people actually do research on this type of thing”. He then proceeded to explain that when we ask other people for favors, we strengthen our connection with them, and it makes them like us more. Humans are social creatures; we like to feel needed and useful. What greater way can we show someone else that we need them than to ask them for help? Additionally, providing others with an opportunity to serve allows them to experience the blessings that comes from serving their God. So, while service is a great way to bring others to Christ, it is equally important to provide them with opportunities to serve you.
One phrase I have come across a lot while doing research for this talk is covenant belonging. At first I didn’t know what it meant, and after looking into it, I have discovered it means that we all have a place with God and with each other. It means we mourn with those that mourn and rejoice with those that rejoice. We are there for each other in good times and in bad, whether we know each other well or have just met. I feel like a good example of covenant belonging can be found in the novel Les Mis by Victor Hugo. In the beginning of the novel, the protagonist, Valjean, has just been released from prison for stealing. He was tired and in search of a place to stay. The people of his town, knowing of his reputation, refused to help him. Even the prison wouldn’t take him in for the night. With nowhere else to go, Valjean went to the abbey where the bishop gladly welcomed him before he even asked his name. Confused, Valjean asked why. This was the bishop’s response:
‘This is not my house; it is the house of Jesus Christ. This door does not demand of him who enters whether he has a name, but whether he has a grief. You suffer, you are hungry and thirsty; you are welcome. … What need have I to know your name? Besides, before you told me [your name], you had one which I knew.’
“[Valjean] opened his eyes in astonishment.
“‘Really? You knew what I was called?’
“‘Yes,’ replied the Bishop, ‘you are called my brother.’”
This bishop is a great example of what covenant belonging should be like and I feel like with some people it is easy to accept them. But what about the people that are hard for us to love. I had a roommate like that last year. She wasn’t a bad person, she wasn’t mean or rude, or anything like that, but something about her just rubbed me the wrong way. For example, we were assigned to be ministering companions about a month into the school year. I was not excited about that, and with how busy I was it took me a couple weeks to talk with her about how we should minister together. When I finally brought up contacting the sisters we were supposed to minister to, she said “oh I already did, they’re fine”. I was speechless for a couple of seconds. She did this without me? And she didn’t even tell me about it? Needless to say, I was upset. Even though I don’t think it was her intention. This incident, combined with other inconsequential things, made it very hard for me to want to be around her. Ultimately, I think we just had personalities that didn’t work well together. So, how was I supposed to feel a belonging, or inspire a sense of belonging in her, when I didn’t like her all that much? Unfortunately, this was not something I figured out during my year of college; however, while doing research for this talk, I found a quote by C.S Lewis that gave me some perspective:
“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship. … There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit.”
In the end, we are all children of God. That doesn’t mean we’re always going to get along with everyone; but, knowing that we all have divine traits and characteristics aids us in our efforts to love one another. And, as with all things, this gets easier through practice.
Overall, the best way we can help guide others to Christ is to do our best to love them. That is the foundation. We can build on this foundation by serving them and in turn giving them opportunities to serve us. But our ultimate goal is to learn how to see people through an eternal lens.
I have a testimony that as we strive to guide others to Christ and give them a sense of belonging in the gospel, our love for them will increase and we will feel a greater sense of belonging too.
